hot off the presses the late morning news you reach for the stack, fold broadsheet in two i must confesses that i’ve seen you before and thought about how sharp things on raised edges follow me now and ill read every letter you send and i’ll make matcha lattes to pay rent i’ll wait for the day when you call and i say ‘you just haven’t seen my good side yet it’s just a thought but it comes up every now and again were you even real, was it all in my head it’s not enough but i’m standing on the wharf just hanging i can’t believe how you gradually took over me i only live for you, now i’ve pulled up the seams i can’t escape but i never really wanted to be emaciated and i guess that you know. mee now and i asked you to hold me down i found a spot in the barnes and noble parking lot the car was low on gas, i was coming apart you took my arm and walked me out of the oncoming boulevard it’s such a shame how it gets so hard to stay together if i could take it all back i would start all over it never lasts but i’ll hold it close until i can’t remember and i guess that you know me now and i asked you to hold me down and i guess that you know me well and i asked you to hold me down little love, little love get the credits rolling why are you so far away? little love, little love with the roof open Why are you so far little love, little love underneath the stars why are you so far away little love, little love with the sliced arms why are you so far why are you so far away why are you so FAR from saving me? why are you so far away why are you so FAR from saving me? its just for now it's just a place in time why are you so far from saving me i got it down, think it’s alright why are you so far why are you so far away why are you so FAR from saving me? why are you so far away why are you so FAR from saving me? its just for now it's just a place in time why are you so far from saving me i got it down, think its alright why are you so far you just haven’t seen my good side yet

I’ve been away from the ocean for too long longing for waves and the sweet smell of salt I’d go back for a day, but no one there knows me Now I ran from the coast at the first chance I got I was plagued with regret and the memories of Aptos after I left I found myself looking Back cuz sometimes you’re faced with a foregone conclusion A life in a cage you don’t know what to do with Hand over the keys, there’s no time for slowing down my body’s a muscle I’m trying to fit in I hate my broad shoulders, my hair and my chin i want to be well or maybe just see Myself but i know that it’s not a wish upon the out of state, driving through the palisades and i wore that Blue tie like a noose holding everything fragily and keeping me in place Im Tired of assholes that fuck it all up I was raised on The Antlers and crappy punk rock I thought it was good, but maybe it wasnt so Great so fuck you and half assed attempts at a family They’re tired and bored I never needed one anyway I’ve been here before; I know how this movie ends and i hope that it’s not a wish upon the out of state, driving through the palisades and i wore that Blue tie like a noose holding everything fragily and keeping in me place Time waits for the empty Oh to save our souls I’m not growing old Dont you look at me that way Im alive with a reason calling me to And dont you ever lose my name Its all mine so i keep it calling me the same my body’s a muscle im trying to fit in i hate my own skin and this human condition and i want to be well and maybe just see Myself and i hope that it’s not a wish upon the out of state, driving through the palisades and i wore that Blue tie like a noose holding everything fragily and keeping in me place Time waits for the empty Oh to save our souls I’m not growing old and ive been busy writing all the same old songs Tell them I’ve seen it all

I was 19 In a red dress I didn’t ask you to tear it all down But you provided You were angry I kinda liked that You said you led all my stories about Powerful women Paint me in yellow and grey, outline the shapes cuz you decided That you liked it better when we only talked about movies From the 90s Tell me that’s it’s such a shame that I Could not continue hide it Cuz you never got to know anythnig more than the parts i reviled when the phone rings ill pick up and ill let you destroy me all over x cuz ive been broken yeah ive been scarred but im still hoping something better ~ pause~ comes along Now I’m 20 In Joanne’s class She said you wrote all about me and you For your final Well that don’t phase me I’m not bothered. cuz id do the same but id pull off the colors and shapes even better lay them all out on the page, bare as the day that i confided that i love you more than the world can contain inside its weary eyelids but what kind of life is a sailing ship fixed on the shoreline? and what kind of love is mooring rope left there untied? what kind of person writes mountains of prose for the woman that left her behind?

So we made it through the day Another one to drift away Into the fog And love if this is Monterey The town in which the bay desists From its swing Then we can walk it off our separate ways Just tell which road you’ll take So we don’t meet On some rainy street tucked in the shade You always loved Washington If only for yourself But Don’t call it a shame, don’t call it a fright I just wanna watch the wave Pass us by I — I’m not an optimist at heart I just want a perfect love For us all I know that may not come along But somewhere in pacific grove I found it once So Don’t call it a shame, don’t call it a fright I just wanna watch the tides Roll us by Don’t make it ok, don’t make it alright I just wanna kiss your restless body up and down the moonlit watercourse tonight

its been three weeks since i last saw you leaving high street behind and by extention leaving me you made it look so easy you said we’d stay together while youre gone but that was only before she came along i hope your happy, but you said i was all you wanted once and is she pretty more conventionally than me and does she sing all your favorite songs and write you some and send them every week and is it better being with her than it ever was with me maybe i just tried too hard but you said she would never come between oh tell me, why’d you leave it all behind giving me nothing but you keep me hanging on you call and say to me that everything’s alright but how can i beleive you when you’re hanging out with her i wanna leave you but you don’t wanna be friends i wanna tell you that everythings gonna end i wanna scream but keep it in my chest cause im not the kind of person to make a scene at your expense i tell you all the time dear ive been waiting for you im trying so hard to be someone that you'd come back to all my friends have packed and theyre pissed at me cause ive been an ass and i wanna say im sorry but that doesnt mean much anymore and theyll replace me with someone better who has less crappy days and doesnt leave group messages on Thursdays cuz i feel so much better when im hated and is she pretty more conventionally than me and does she sing all your favorite songs and write you some and send them every week and is it better playing with her than it ever was with me maybe i just tried too hard but you said that would never come between i tell you all the time that ive been trying for you im losing my grip On being someone that you'd come back to oh tell me why’d you leave it all behind you give me nothing but you keep me hanging on you call and say to me that everythings alright but how can i believe you when youre hanging out with her i wanna leave you but you dont wanna be friends i wanna tell you that everything’s gonna end i wanna scream but i keep it in my chest cause im not the kind of person to make a scene at your expense im tired of being told that its all in my head i said she made me insecure, you didnt care im at the point of throwing hands up in the air cause i cant tell whats real or if im being gaslighted i wanna leave you but you dont wanna be friends i wanna tell you that everything’s gonna end i wanna scream but i keep it in my chest cause i’ve never been the type to fuck you over like that

Who is to say what I’ve been doing Who is to tell me what’s to come They’re all the same and I’ve been through it- They won’t remember when I’m gone And I'll watch it burn Another kormran sill; another train by the hour — I’ll watch it from above Another “who are you?”; another “where’d I run off to?” — I don’t know well which is worse Who is to say what I’ve been doing Who is to say ‘well what’s to come?’ Don’t make the same mistakes that i did Don’t fall in love with everyone And I’ll watch it burn I’m far away back from the out of state Straight from a razorblade Cut what you want from me I’m far away back from the out of state Straight from a razorblade Cut what you want from me

Even with your eyes closed shut You still see me You still see everything 
 Just before the dawn rolls up I’ll wait for you You said you’d do the same 
 You could never tell a lie You’re not so vain It isn’t in your nature 
 But you caught me by surprise I know your name You had me from that moment – 
 Showing all your teeth There is no fade You look so glad to be here 
 Just above the sea I hide and wait Hoping that you will be alone Don’t leave without me darlin Imagine how you’d look without someone else’s face Don’t leave without me You can’t 


Take a few of your own pills darlin and say It was never enough it was never enough It isn’t my fault that you couldn’t be saved Play a few of your old tunes darlin and sing they were never enough they were never enough I’ll leave you comfortable where you lay 

 Every time I think of you It’s all so grey It’s not what I expected 
 So I had to take away I fought so hard Through all of your rejection 
 It wouldn’t have been so bad I was so harmless back when I first met you 
 But you never took a chance You stayed away And now you’ll always be alone 
 Don’t leave without me darlin Imagine how you’d look without someone else’s face Don’t leave without me You can’t OH, it’s nothing That you’d ever carry with you Even with your eyes closed shut You still see me You still everything Just before the dawn rolls up You show your teeth I hope that you will be alone

All the leaves will change in seasons unannounced  The yellow fall arrives  The autumn cold comes over  Freezing everything in permafrost  I try to fight it off  It doesn’t work,  it hurts to become And at the heart of it, I’m still crying on my bed  Cause’ you're the only one who can kiss away my shit  So I finally give in, we sleep in your parent’s basement  One day I’ll burn and salt the earth All along the palisades, there once were hills of greenery I drove through them to get you off my mind  Now the mountain pass has burned out It won’t be coming back  And here I ask  'Do you have a lot of what you’ve got? Do you need more of it to survive? Does it come up, more than enough, But not so much to serve as a reminder?’ And at the heart of it, I’m still crying on my bed  Cause’ you're the only one who can kiss away my shit  So I finally give in, we sleep in your parent’s basement  One day I’ll burn and salt the earth Behind you I’m just a guide to  Be compared with, measure up And then discarded when you’re done And at the heart of it, I’m still crying on my bed  Cause’ you're the only one who can kiss away my shit  So I finally give in, we sleep in your parent’s basement  One day I’ll watch it burn, but for now I’m insecure  So I call you one more time, we meet under city lights You tell me I look beautiful and I  Don’t know where to run, everything’s undone  so, when the time comes  I will salt the earth behind you All the leaves will change in seasons unannounced  The yellow fall arrives  The autumn cold comes over us

if you dont love me, then say you dont id rather know than stay in the cold cuz walking out in the morning fog i felt a distance unmistakable you werent there anymore i cant stay on your string i dont care anymore, just give me some relief this is not the sound of clarity im just another sailor lost at sea the ocean’s open but its not empty ive got provisions and two friends with me but for a moment in the doorway up the street i wanted more than my guitar and saw it sweet but with nothing in the air to make it keep im not the ghost here, im flesh and blood, cut me down for real gone like the rolling wind above the hills, the worst is still coming down from the valley below, you cant outrun the softest sound it only echoes i don’t wanna be some lonley hopeless bridget jones lover, richard Curtis i just want to meet you up on notting hill Underneath the waves, crashing overhead Pulled into the spit and washed out soon Coming up for air, I’ll find you there Ducking in the shade, unsteady terrain Barefoot on the key and going down Start of in Lagrange, the sweetest state gone like the rolling wind above the hills, the worst is still coming down from the valley below, you cant outrun the softest sound it only follows you around and lives in your head, like a fever too hot you can’t out-sweat and i promise you now and again my voice will echo over hedgerows into the sea gone like the rolling wind above the hills, the worst is still coming

Entropy; old friend I wondered when Next we’d meet You and me; two obstinate lovers with Fists and teeth And what if I stood on the bow Looked off all the waves Invited the depths Would you swim up on the swell tender and brave delivered from death Marjorie; cut from her mother and Sent upstream in the creek, a one-legged buzzard came down —— and offered relief and was she a terrible child angry and wild deserving revile or maybe just borne of the stream earning her keep alone in the reeds the buzard came down to the creek, calls marjorie as she speaks through the limbs of the trees he pulls her up into his wing, leg in the breeze as the storm carries over the sea

call me to say that you need me when im not around i wake up, smoke my weed, take my coffee and walk into town where the streets are all grey but the audience paints them dark blue and long after the break i stand out in the crowd there for you We know there’s only one way for this story to end we go off our own ways, make a pact to return here as friends You can fill up the page but it’s futile to write out the truth (that) everything i would give couldnt possibly satisfy you all i want’s been all turned out severed from my own self-doubt if you want me im waiting come back to the south what a fragile thing we have found call me to say that you need me when im not around i wont count up the days or wait off on a ledge o'er the ground staring out at the waves as they bend and they break into two as i ask what of love, such a delicate thing that we do all i want’s been all turned out severed from my own self-doubt if you want me im waiting come back to the south all i want’s been all turned out severed from my own self-doubt if you want me im waiting come back to the south what a fragile thing we have found